I have always had an internal battle—doing what I want and what was expected. Especially the older I got. I’ll admit I’ve always had a rebellious attitude when it came to society’s norms, but when it came to routine things I found it difficult to break my ties with convention. My gut tells me to break free and fly, but my brain roots me to a nine to five and all the guidelines attached to it, settling in the “should be.” I leave my dreams and passions as second, a hobby to add to my free time that I long to devour at all hours of the day. A mental block that climbing the corporate ladder is the only way to succeed.
But I know better. My heart knows better. It knows of a success beyond the dollar signs and status. It knows of another status. The status of happiness. Until what point are you willing to give up happiness for the misconceived tell-tale of success?
There is no greater war than the one with yourself. I have spent years fighting the urge to free my gypsy soul and live according the rules I create. Years wanting to risk being a social outcast—a badge I wear proudly— so I could let go of convention and do what I want. I walk the streets of life questioning myself for decisions I continue to make knowing that they don’t feed my soul. A soul I have lately reconnected with and learned to nourish. A soul that I have searched long and hard for to just abandon again because it doesn’t fit a mold all others believe is the right match.
I have spent years healing, working on myself, and discovering what this life is all about. It’s time to take off the masks and stop playing dress up. It’s time to stop living the way it is expected from the outside and begin living the way I internally want to.
Fear is just a block that prevents us from following our dreams. I’m washing off my fear, shaking off doubt, and cutting off limitations. I am taking my life by the reins and sprinting off in the directions of my dreams.
It is no longer acceptable to me to make decisions and commitments based on what the world says is right. I’m no longer doubting my urges to live differently. It’s time to see things for what they are. I’m stripping down unashamedly and being the truest form of me. I’m releasing petty worries, believing in myself, and rebelling against what should be so that what is can shine.
No matter what, I need to put myself first. My well-being. My dreams. My happiness. When you reflect and find that happiness is lacking, it’s time to reassess and change things. I’m coming in full force to regain my peace. To regain who I am at my core without judgment. I’m saying goodbye to convention and taking a risk on me.