It’s not you, it’s not me~ Breaking the bonds of blame

The age old excuse to end a relationship, the “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse has been so over used that people receive it as, “it is you, not me”. We go out of our way to find someone to blame for “failed” relationships. We allow our ego and pride to interfere in the truth of what people and experiences really are.

When we stop looking at the end of a relationship with bitterness and resentment we will see the true beauty that this ending holds. Life is a series of lessons and rides that lead us down a path carved just for us, so we can grow and learn what we need. So we can clear old karmas and free ourselves of the past.

Maybe a break up has nothing to do with you or me. Maybe it is just the way things work when we are done learning from people and are ready to move on. As humans, it is hard for us to accept endings and reflect on their purpose, but how much happier would we be if we stopped blaming and started living? Living from a part of us that holds no negativity and is compassionate and understanding. What if this is all part of a greater plan? Destiny isn’t just about the ever after, but about the journey to reach that. Destiny takes us through an adventure that sometimes includes heartbreak and other times joy, but always a lesson. And many times what we expect is not what is. Once we take off the blindfold and see clearly through our mind’s eye, we understand the reasoning behind things.

Moving forward with the lessons we take from each relationship, from our soulmates if we’re lucky enough to cross paths with them, or from partners that we create deep connections with, is something we could all aim for. Lower those blaming fingers and embrace that soul that was an important part of your life at that moment, a necessary part of your life. Caress each other one last time beyond the physical level and hold on to the things that will help you evolve. Holding on to the resentment is just poison that will slowly kill your being and get in the way of your happiness.

Instead of pointing fingers or making up excuses for why things don’t work out with a person, thank them and the experience, move on with happiness and peace, and prepare yourself to embark in another chapter of this beautiful book called life.

So if the time comes where you and a partner say goodbye and travel down separate roads, remember that it’s not his fault or her fault, your lack of commitment or desire for them. Love isn’t about blaming someone for an unsuccessful relationship but grasping the true beauty of it and continuing to move forward. So release the old excuse, stop blaming yourself or others, and leave a relationship with mutual understanding, respect, and compassion.

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