Fearless~not lacking fear, but embracing confidence

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A few months ago I decided to make a decision that has been years in the making—quit my nine to five and do what I love. It was a craving I’ve had for some time now. One I would begin to satisfy and then starve myself from. The reason always being fear. What if I didn’t make enough money to support myself? What if I failed? What if people thought I was crazy? What if… If you’ve read any of my posts, you’ll know that the what if is an excuse we place because of insecurity and fear. It’s a cover up to avoid the worst. Why do we even imagine the worst? We are masochists. We rather dwell on our failures than bask in our success. Because of fear.

When I saw this sign at a store, I had to get it. I had it pinned on a Pinterest board and thought to myself, “One day I’ll buy that.” I’d say it was pure coincidence finding it when I did, but there is no such thing as a coincidence. I found the sign when I needed to find it. I found it when I was beginning a new journey. I found it when I had decided to put aside my fears and dive head first into the unknown. A big unknown.

I’m not to say that I live one hundred percent fearlessly because I am still growing and learning. I am still lifting my confidence and belief in all I can accomplish. But when I decided to quit teaching to become a full-time writer and LuLaRoe Consultant, I decided to take a risk on my happiness. It was then that I asked myself, “How much do you believe in YOU?” Working independently can be a difficult road. I’m a realist. There are and will be challenges and there will be moments I question my own sanity. (More than I already do. ;)) However, this was something I needed to do for me. How could I preach confidence and worth when I wasn’t fully giving myself the opportunity to live my truth?

So has begun the journey of being self-employed, of flexibility, and of hard work. I have worked hard my whole life for things I love, and sometimes for what I didn’t love. I’ve always taken my jobs seriously. But this time, this is for me. This new career path was a choice in my personal journey as well. I’ve been working hard in my self-confidence, my security, my self-love. This is my turn to look at what I can do, believe in myself, and work from the heart.

I can make what I love a priority and turn it into a career. How great is that? Talking to my aunt and cousin the other day, we were discussing our purpose. My aunt said, “Your purpose is what comes from the heart. It’s something that fulfills you. Not just a job, but going into that job knowing you are doing what you love and working happily in that choice.” That’s what I’m starting to do.

I’ve always wanted to write. I’ve been working towards having a career where I can guide others, and my words do that. Now, I can help empower women as well in growing that confidence, because for me, LuLaRoe is more than clothes. It’s an opportunity teach others what I, myself, have learned about self-worth and self-love. Through writing and fashion I can live out my purpose. I can incorporate my healing practices and what I’ve learned in that journey.

In LuLaRoe, they ask what your Why is. Why did you want to join this company? Why did you want to become a consultant? My why is simple, I want to be happy. I want to empower others by empowering myself. I want to accomplish greatness and wake up each morning excited about what I do. Will I sometimes still feel fear? Probably. It’s part of life, right? It’s part of the lessons and reminder that we can crush that negative voice and continue to believe in ourselves. It’s overcoming that fear which allows us to continue becoming empowered.

I am a work in progress, just like the many stories I create. Just like the business I run. We are constantly growing and learning, but when I see my sign and I read the word Fearless, I am reminded of my strength. I am reminded that above all, I have the ability to create my own happiness.

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Breaking Up with Convention

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I have always had an internal battle—doing what I want and what was expected. Especially the older I got. I’ll admit I’ve always had a rebellious attitude when it came to society’s norms, but when it came to routine things I found it difficult to break my ties with convention. My gut tells me to break free and fly, but my brain roots me to a nine to five and all the guidelines attached to it, settling in the “should be.” I leave my dreams and passions as second, a hobby to add to my free time that I long to devour at all hours of the day. A mental block that climbing the corporate ladder is the only way to succeed.

But I know better. My heart knows better. It knows of a success beyond the dollar signs and status. It knows of another status. The status of happiness. Until what point are you willing to give up happiness for the misconceived tell-tale of success?

There is no greater war than the one with yourself. I have spent years fighting the urge to free my gypsy soul and live according the rules I create. Years wanting to risk being a social outcast—a badge I wear proudly— so I could let go of convention and do what I want. I walk the streets of life questioning myself for decisions I continue to make knowing that they don’t feed my soul. A soul I have lately reconnected with and learned to nourish. A soul that I have searched long and hard for to just abandon again because it doesn’t fit a mold all others believe is the right match.

I have spent years healing, working on myself, and discovering what this life is all about. It’s time to take off the masks and stop playing dress up. It’s time to stop living the way it is expected from the outside and begin living the way I internally want to.

Fear is just a block that prevents us from following our dreams. I’m washing off my fear, shaking off doubt, and cutting off limitations. I am taking my life by the reins and sprinting off in the directions of my dreams.

It is no longer acceptable to me to make decisions and commitments based on what the world says is right. I’m no longer doubting my urges to live differently. It’s time to see things for what they are. I’m stripping down unashamedly and being the truest form of me. I’m releasing petty worries, believing in myself, and rebelling against what should be so that what is can shine.

No matter what, I need to put myself first. My well-being. My dreams. My happiness. When you reflect and find that happiness is lacking, it’s time to reassess and change things. I’m coming in full force to regain my peace. To regain who I am at my core without judgment. I’m saying goodbye to convention and taking a risk on me.

 

New Year~Believing in our resolutions

photo-1421986527537-888d998adb74.jpegIn a few days we will be celebrating the start of a new year. I love seeing the optimism online of people ready for the new year to accomplish new goals. I have goals as well, things I want to reach in the near future, but I think it’s important to understand that resolutions can be set and accomplished at any time. Hear me out.

We don’t need the excuse of a new year or a certain age to set and reach milestones. We have every opportunity to follow our hearts at our fingertips. Instead of waiting for a reason to do what you feel in your being, start now. Today. Waiting for the right time is limiting yourself to all the universe has to offer. How many times do we say we will lose weight starting the new year? Now is the time for me to diet. It’s an excuse that has been overused, myself included. If you want to feel healthy, start now. Be conscious of taking care of your body. And instead of making it a pressure of looking a certain way deemed acceptable by society, change the mentality to feeling a certain way. Do it for yourself and overall wellbeing. Feel good in your skin and love yourself for who you are and for making yourself important enough to be a priority.

We get so caught up in the material resolutions that we forget that each day is an opportunity to continue becoming us in our personal journey. The way I see it, we can choose to reflect inwardly at what we have, be grateful for it, and become aware of what we want to continue working on in the coming times. I guess you can say that we shift our views from material to more spiritual if you want to give it a name.

Resolutions are just that, goals and promises we want to keep. If we look at it as something we want lifelong then we release the pressure and enjoy the path reaching them.

For some time now I have shifted my resolutions. I no longer say I want to lose weight or a higher paycheck. Trust me, it took a long time for me to understand this mentality. When I actually stopped to think about what I wanted, I realized I couldn’t put concrete things to it. I wanted a life I could love. I wanted things to continue being grateful for. I wanted dreams to become reality. To sum it up, I wanted my soul to be happy and free.

I started rewording my resolutions. Then, I became a life coach and understood intentions, or affirmations. It all clicked. The way we ask for things and the energy we put into our words and thoughts have a huge impact on the outcome. Stating things in a positive manner and present tense will open you to so much more. Most importantly, believe you can live a life you love.

My list of resolutions, or better yet, intentions is this:

  1. Be unapologetically me
  2. Follow my dreams
  3. Be grateful for all that comes into my life, the good and the challenging.
  4. Be raw and honest
  5. Love, for myself and others
  6. Be compassionate. Release judgment and understand everyone has their own journey in life.
  7. Become aware of the world around me with more than just my five senses.
  8. Keep my sense of wonder and adventure open
  9. Continue to develop my personal growth
  10. Believe in myself, my dreams, and the world

 

I wish you all the very best for this upcoming year and many blessings to you and your loved ones. Follow your path with an open heart and mind, and when the countdown begins to welcome a new year, believe in the magic of life. See it as what it is, another day to live out your purpose with confidence and love.

Thirty never felt so good~Ditching my twenties a little wiser

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In a few days I’ll be turning 30. I’m still in denial. Not because I think I’m old, but because I feel nowhere near what 30 “should” feel like. I spent part of my 20s obsessed with the fact that I was aging. The other part, the part of my 20s that was closer to 30, was spent rejoicing my age. The irony of life—the older I got, the less I stressed my age.

Throughout these 30 years I have learned a lot, or better yet relearned. Life is full of turns and bumps as well as some straight shots. It’s what makes it beautiful and exciting. My life has led me to learn more than a few lessons. Here are some to keep with you no matter your age:

  1. Age really ain’t nothing but a number

Time is just a form of measure we need as humans to keep track of things. Age is a form of tracking the time we’ve spent living this life. It doesn’t define us or what we can do. It doesn’t limit us if we don’t allow it. Embrace the age you have, whether it’s 15 or 50 and live out your life the way you desire. No one is getting in your way but yourself. You want to rock the shoes you’ve been eyeing at the store, do it. Allow age to make you wiser because of the experiences you’ve had, not limit you to encountering more experiences.

  1. Love yourself

Oh, the never ending battle of “I’m not pretty enough. I’m not tall enough.” At 30, I can say I am well into my personal path of self-discovery. What have I discovered the most? Love begins within. Look at yourself and smile, admire your beauty and tell yourself the three little words we crave to tell someone else. Seduce yourself and find that love you have in your heart so it can blossom inwardly.

  1. Be unapologetically YOU

You are unique in this Earth. Shine your light bright and spread your beauty with the world. I plan to continue working towards this into my 30s. I’m fortunate that my birthday and the year end on the same day. My resolutions are my own reflections of myself, the past year and my evolution into me. The more I reconnect with who I am, the more I want to be that person. I no longer want to apologize for my likes or dislikes. I no longer want to hide my truth out of fear of not fitting in or letting someone down. It’s time to get real.

  1. The daydream is your reality

How many times do we spend dreaming of what could be? Reality begins somewhere, and it’s usually in our dreams, the desires we hold in our hearts that give us passion and drive in life. That same passion you have for hoping something would be a certain way or a certain job would be yours can be put into work. Make it happen. How exciting would it be to live your daydream? It’s possible. Take it from me. I spent a long time dreaming of things I wanted to do until I woke up one day and asked myself, why not? Work hard and stay humble. Dreams do come true.

  1. Don’t be embarrassed to sing in the car

I love to sing. I’m terrible at it. I can admit my weaknesses the same as my strengths. No matter how much I wanted to be a singer as a child, I know it’s not my forte. That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy good music and jam to my favorite songs. Driving is the best time for that, but I used to shy away if cars were near. Why? I’m sure the person driving next to you is doing the same thing. And if they aren’t, they’re watching you and admiring your guts to let loose and be carefree.

  1. Throw society’s rulebook out the window

I’ve never been one to really follow the rules, especially those placed by society. Who said we had to be married by 23 with a college degree and satisfying job? Who said by age 25 we were supposed to have 2.5 children, which mathematically is not even accurate. And when did we think it was okay to stop living, truly living, in order to make other people happy? Society is made up of humans who decided they were going to put certain things a priority. What is my priority is not yours. If you want to be married with children by 25, go for it. If you want to travel, do that. I was lucky enough to live abroad, get my degree at my pace so I can explore the world, work different jobs, and get a few tattoos along the way. I’m single. I don’t have children. And I’m 30. Embrace your journey and follow your own guidelines to life. After all, you’re the one who is living it.

  1. Follow your intuition

How many times have I ignored thee? I’m grateful my intuition is still intact and willing to give me another chance. Follow your gut. Listen to your heart. And see with your mind’s eye. We know what’s up. Whether we choose to listen or not is our choice, but as soul beings we have an awareness we can develop and open so we can live honestly and knowingly. Our intuition is our guide. It informs us if we should eat that meal, or if that guy is a good date. Our knowingness is one of the greatest gifts we have. I have learned to listen closely and respect it. It’s amazing how life changes when you do.

  1. Date the boy (or girl)

I spent so many years closed off to the world that I never gave anyone a true chance at reaching my heart. I learned. I got hurt. But mostly, I was caged off. I’m at a place in my life now where I am open to meeting someone. I am at a place where I can reflect and be honest with myself. Maybe I could have given that guy I met back in high school a fair chance. I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean I did wrong. I did what I needed to do then. Now I know the difference between listening to my gut or listening to my fear. Don’t be afraid to open up to someone, even if that someone isn’t your forever. Date, meet people, and have fun. Experience different relationships, but always love yourself in the process and know what’s right for you. Keep your heart open to the possibility of falling in love and believe in the happily ever after.

  1. It’s okay to cry

I am the anti-crier. I really don’t get emotional often. I used to pride myself on my strong façade. Then, I went to a meditation a few days ago and the water dam was burst open. Ever since that day I have become overly emotional. At least for a lonely Capricorn like myself, getting emotional is a foreign language. Ever since that day though I have come to terms that it’s okay to show your emotions. Be proud for being human and having feelings instead of shaming yourself as a “weakling.” Seriously, I have become a softie, but instead of getting judged for expressing myself, I’ve been compassionate and others have as well. Feel free to express yourself honestly and demonstrate to the world what you’re feeling. My aunt jokes that it’s part of turning 30, but I know it is part of my own personal evolution. Cry it out and feel.

I look forward to the future. I am excited to see what my 30s will bring and continue to follow these things I mentioned above. And like that old Tim McGraw says, I look forward to my next thirty years.

From ghosted to healing: How I found closure

It’s been a long time since I’ve dated. A lifetime almost. It takes courage to open up to people, especially for a lonely goat like myself. But I did it.

I reluctantly began the process, putting myself out there through online dating after a friend and I made a deal. Shortly after, to my surprise, I met a pretty amazing guy. We hit it off right away, and that guard I had carefully built throughout the years with precision was shattered. Brought down in the matter of a week when I finally realized I could live my life alone or find my own kind of happiness.

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He was everything I could have asked for. Actually, he was most things that my own wish list of desires for a partner had written on it. How easy was this dating thing when you meet someone who complements you so well a month into it? We meshed perfectly, not missing a beat. It felt like we had known each other before, longer than we had in this moment in life. I questioned if he was a soul mate, one of the many I know roam this earth, but I never got a clear answer. Deep down I knew he wasn’t. I saw him as someone who was placed in my path to teach me a lesson. Maybe we had karma to clear from a previous time that our souls danced together because despite how wonderful things were going, they ended.

They ended in a way I despised, a way that I had previously experienced in a past relationship. A term I recently learned thanks to some great girlfriends, Google, and warm coffee. He ghosted on me. Now for those of you that are in the dark like me, he just disappeared. The text messages were brief and then there were none, in the matter of two days. I was hurt. Actually, my ego was hurt. This was someone I knew for a little over a month. Yeah, I liked him, we had great chemistry, but my ego was the one that felt betrayed.

The human in me questioned how could he do this when he had talked about plans in the future, when he was the one who was so open and forthcoming. I was the cool one, so when did the tables turn?

The human in me wanted to reach out, wanted to make it known I was aware that he pulled away. But for what cause? To be on the receiving end of more silence, or worse. I took a deep breath, finished my coffee with my gals, and reflected. I have come a long way to return to my old ways. I had two choices—learn from this and grow, or return to the lonely top of the mountain. The latter was so tempting that I began the climb. I rationalized. I put myself out there, it didn’t work, I got hurt again, so I’m resorting to the way I was living my life, which was in no way actual living. I was hiding in a bulletproof case that rejected the shots thrown my way, but those shots make beautiful scars. They mark us to be better.

I decided I was going to look at this experience differently. Through my journey, I have come to this experience much differently than I would have in the past. I was not going to judge him. This is a part of his path, regardless of how annoyed I was at his behavior. He was placed on my path for a reason. We were placed in each other’s lives for whatever the reason may be. I had the choice to release judgment and take the lessons of my ego from a part of my soul being instead of my human being. I chose to be compassionate and understanding. I chose to free myself. Not from him or having a relationship, but from myself. From the me that used to hold herself back from living out of fear that the heartbreak would be worse than the loneliness. From the me that convinced herself so deeply that dealing with emotions was for the weak. I freed myself from the misconception that fairy tales were unreal and love was an illusion for the blind.

In retrospect, I could have been more in like with the idea that I had met such a great match. How easy it was to say that I found my forever the first time I attempted real dating. The thought of having to get back on the dating horse and start all over again makes me cringe. And since I’m being completely honest, I’ll also say that through reflection I admitted to myself that I wasn’t being totally honest with him. I put myself completely into the building of the relationship, whatever kind of relationship it was, but I kept a part of me hidden just like the moon, waiting for the right time to show my wholeness. Waiting for him to know me fully before I showed him all of me. How could he know me fully if I wouldn’t allow him that privilege? A privilege he asked for. So my biggest lesson is to shine brightly and expose my true glow, allowing someone to fall in love with all of me as I have fallen in love with myself.

In the end, the universe put me in a situation that was necessary, a situation that caused me to stop and think about the life I want and the partner I ultimately want. It tested me and wooed me, but it never abandoned me or gave me unnecessary hurt. It was firm in its beliefs and in guiding me in the right direction. And if there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that when I meet that soul mate roaming nearby, I’ll feel it in my soul. I won’t be able to hold back because his soul will pull mine in. And I can’t wait to find that soul that grooves with mine.

 

Life Coaching~ Live the life you imagine

Along with Reiki and guiding meditations, I am a life coach. I have been lucky to find careers that make my heart smile and my soul soar. I want to give you a little insight into life coaching and its benefits.

Life coaching helps individuals live happily and passionately through the use of cognitive behavioral approaches and the law of attraction targeting different key areas of life (relationships, health, career, prosperity) to attract the desires they have and shift their energy vibrations to travel at higher, positive frequency. In essence, our thought patterns dictate what we attract into our lives. What you send off to the Universe is what you will bring back into your life, intentional or unintentional. Life Coaching allows individuals to align their thoughts, feelings and emotions with their beliefs in order to create and attract their desires.

Through Vibrational Matching, a holistic approach based on principles of well-being and abundance, individuals’ energy vibration rises to travel at a higher frequency and allows them to open up to their true desires. The four steps in Vibrational Matching are:

  • Create Feel-Good Moments {doing things that make us happy lift our energy vibrations}.
  • Identifying Your Desires {creating a wish list of our desires helps in opening our awareness of what exactly we want in life and attracting it}.
  • Activating Your Intentions {An intention is the coupling of a strong desire with a strong belief that you can have that desire. Using the desires from the wish list, I work with individuals in raising their belief that they can have the life they desire and create intentions that in accordance with each other.}
  • Release the Outcome {Individuals send off their intentions to the Universe and open themselves to receiving their desires at the perfect timing}.

Through life coaching, individuals work on releasing negative emotions, focusing on the positive in their lives, and opening themselves to accepting to learn from experiences and people that come into their lives, being compassionate of what you or others have attracted. I guide and support the individual in identifying and clarifying what he or she wants to achieve, and support him or her in becoming self aware and open-minded.

You can contact me for more information at: fabilouslife@yahoo.com

Stop, Drop, and Choose

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I am an over thinker. I always have been. My heart is a free spirit that wants to wander the world aimlessly, and my brain is a Capricorn. I have learned to listen with my heart, follow it more and think less of the what if. Boy, do I dislike those what ifs. They are our brain getting in the way of a lovely plan that fills our souls. Do you ever get that kick or jump in your stomach that draws your attention? I have challenged myself to listen to that and just “Stop, Drop and Choose.” Choose what my heart wants on the first try. Ask myself a question, do I stay or go? If I stop, Drop and Choose, what is the first word that pops into my mind. Don’t over think, just do.

Ever since I was a young girl, I would get that gut feeling. I had no idea what it was, but I used to describe it like anti-butterflies. My stomach would not get that warm and fuzzy feelings, but instead it would churn. It would feel heavy and uncomfortable.

If I met a guy, I would think, “He’s cute. I’ll give him a chance.” And I would, because who wouldn’t want to give a cute guy you clicked with a chance? But I would always listen to my stomach. If I got that churning, uncomfortable feeling, I would break it off. Why be with someone who does not give you the good kind of butterflies? Listen to that.

Do you get happy butterflies or churning moths? If it churns, run and run fast, from any situation. Be brave enough to do what is right for you. But if those butterflies are full of love and care, stay and enjoy the caress. Your heart and soul know what is best for you, and they try to guide you. It is up to you, and me, to listen. From what I have learned from the lessons of not listening, I am choosing to pay attention, closely.

At first it may be difficult because our minds contradict what our intuition is telling us, but with practice you become more in tune with that part of you. Once you listen to that part of you and experience all the wonderful things that can happen, this practice will become more and more a part of your life.

I have challenged myself to choose. Choose the direction I want my life to go without thinking what could go wrong or asking what if I stay. I choose to listen to my butterflies when it comes to meeting the right man, and I choose to listen to my heart so I can move forward from a place of love and compassion.

I want chances to explore my world openly, without letting my brain get in the way, as it so often has in the past. Through my journey I have learned to trust myself a little more and ignore what the world says. I have gone with my instinct when it comes to a job, a place to live, or a relationship. It was difficult at first to separate the facts my mind created to the feeling my heart had. Even more difficult to explain this to others who were not one with their intuition, but I learned to release that and follow my gut, which is tied to my heart.

There is a freedom that comes with following our intuition, an opening within our hearts and souls and bodies that allows us to move through life with a different kind of confidence. I want to feel that always, everyday of my life. I want to be able to dance through my path so sure of each step that my soul is the captain of my body and my heart is the sail. Have the courage to live with your heart. Listen to its secrets and allow it to guide you.

So to you I say, Stop, Drop and Choose. What does your heart say?


A practice to become more in tune with your intuition is to sit in a quiet space by yourself, close your eyes and take a few deeps breaths to clear your mind from wandering thoughts. Once you are relaxed, think of a question you may have been asking yourself. Maybe it’s a choice you need to make. *{I found it easier to start with yes or no questions.}

Once you think of this, what is the first thought to enter your mind? That is your answer. That is your higher self and intuition responding over your analytical mind. This is the truth before we tear it apart and make excuses as to why it cannot be that way. Try it. Live it. See what happens in your life when you do.

*Examples of questions to begin with:

Is this the right job for me?

Is this the right car for me?